Wednesday, May 01, 2013

It's Here!

Well, the time has come.  There are only 3 links left on the paper chain I made with Clay to count down the days until we move out of our first home.  I'm not even sure where to begin as I process what we are jumping into.  Our house is half empty already.  Sofas have been sold (thank you craigslist!), we are living out of suitcases, and there is nothing in our sun room besides boxes.  Boxes filled with our only earth possessions left, and empty ones ready to be filled with the few things we have not yet packed.  OH MY, HERE WE GO!  Moving out on Saturday will be an emotional good bye to say the least.  I know that what we are leaving behind is just wood and bricks, that really is of no eternal value, but the fact remains that saying good bye to our home means so much more than just moving out.  It means we are saying good bye to the comforts of living the All-American dream.  My husband has a job that provides well for our family, we have never lacked anything, we were living in a house that could have easily been the home we raise our children in, retired in, and lived in for the rest of our lives.  In the eyes of the world, we were living a very comfortable life, but the problem is, I don't want to live a comfortable life.  I don't want to just live in the same ol' house, doing the same ol' things, being my same ol' self.  And I don't think that's what God wants for me either.

I just got finished reading a few blogs about how stressful it is to be a missionary, and I have to admit,  it freaked me out a little.  Rob and I have lived overseas before we had children for a year in the Philippines and yes, it was stressful, but we knew that our situation was only temporary.  Moving now, definitely feels a lot different.  While I feel as though we have a small, pea-size advantage because of our over-seas experience, I kind of feel like I have no clue what we are getting ourselves into.  Ok, it's more than just "kind-of feel like."  I absolutely realize that I have NO CLUE what we are getting ourselves into.
The thing is, why do I feel like I need to have a "clue?"  Oh yeah, because I am an controlling need-to-have-all-my-ducks-in-a-row-and-need-to-know-where-those-ducks-are-coming-from-and-how-much-they-are-going-to-cost kind of a person. But what does God say?

  Then Jesus said to his disciples: “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest? “Consider how the lilies grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well. “Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom. Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will not be exhausted, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also
Luke 12:22-34

The thing is, I don't want to live my life where my treasure is in my house that I absolutely love, or my air conditioned living room, or the "security" of my husband's job. So, what do I choose?  I choose to believe that God has confirmed to us over and over again that this is what He wants us to do.  That we are following His calling for our lives and that although that means giving-up the All- American dream, that's just breadcrumbs compared to the feast of living my life for the Lord!

Our shelves are looking pretty empty these days!