A Passion for Motherhood

I can't say that I was ever one of those little girls that dreamed about getting married and having babies. Don't get me wrong, I definitely played with dolls, although most of the time I was their teacher, not their mother. I did play with Barbie and Ken and they had a family, etc. But being a wife and mother was never my ultimate dream. And then, the summer before my Senior year in college God placed a certain young man in my life. We started dating and eventually I came to realize that I did not want to live the rest of my life without him. So, in July of 2005 we got married! I am so blessed to have this man in my life and could not imagine living one day without him.
Of course when you get married, the next logical step is starting a family. Now, being that I never "dreamed" of having kids, it was not a priority for me. I was definitely not ready 4 years ago, and the very thought of having a baby scared me to death. In fact, in the summer of 2007, before we went to the Philippines, there was a point where I thought I was pregnant and I freaked-out. I did not want to even take a pregnancy test because I did not want to know. I felt like if I found-out I was pregnant, I was not going to be excited, I was going to be terrified. After putting it off for a few weeks, I finally took a pregnancy test and (obviously) I was not pregnant. I have to admit, I was relieved. Then, God moved us to the Philippines for 10 months. Through-out my time there, I felt like God began to prepare my heart for motherhood. And in the last few months we were there, God gave me a desire and a passion to raise children to love and serve Him. I felt like God was confirming again and again that motherhood is the ministry He has for me. It is a desire and passion that is so foreign to me, but that began to burn in my heart.
So, here I am, 32 weeks pregnant and getting ready for the arrival of our baby boy. I am amazed at how God has prepared my heart for this next chapter in His will for my life. There is nothing else in the world I want to do more than have this baby boy and raise him to love and serve God with all his heart. I still can't believe how God has worked in my heart to bring me to this point. I stand in awe of how our Lord works in our lives to prepare us for the plans He has for us!